1. When I was 5 years old, I used to play in this big lilac bush. One day I got too lazy to go inside to use the bathroom, so I dug a hole and pooped in it.
2. once when I was around 4 or 5 years old, I stole a bar of Barbie soap from a pharmacy. My parents found out and made me take it back in and apologize to the store owner.
3. when I see small children or animals, I get this intense urge to squeeze them so tightly that the life might be squeezed out of them
4. when I was 10 a friend asked me if I could braid my pubic hair. I said no, and then felt ashamed because mine wasn’t long enough
5. I love talking dirty during sex
6. I have a love/hate relationship with the smell of bellybutton
7. Often I get so fearful of being rejected and failure that I choose to do nothing at all and throw myself a pity party
8. i don’t know how to re-define independence for myself within a relationship
9. I love peeing in non-appropriate places
10. sometimes I wish I had a penis
11. love and jealousy often go hand-in-hand in my life
12. I can easily carry a conversation in Italian and Spanish. I also know some words in Dutch, German and French
13. if I were braver, I’d be more involved in politics
14. when I was 18 years old I threw a phone at my brother during a fit of complete frustration and anger
15. I find it difficult to follow through a single task through to the end
16. I am very impatient
17. i was interviewed by John Bogley as a high school senior and we discussed the word “dilettante,” and concluded that i was not a dilettante. I am starting to think I am one indeed.
18. I wish I yelled during fights
19. I love being places with exciting complex smells
20. I love color so much that if it’s really good I want to eat it
21. I’d love to name my child Fiona or Ella
22. I like imagining the perfect soundtrack for my day, as it occurs.
23. when I was little, a man pulled up in a car and asked me if wanted to get in. I was terrified and ran away and didn’t tell my mom
24. I slept in my parents’ room on a frequent basis until I was 13
25. I love to spend exorbitant amounts of money on beautiful objects and food
26. my aunt’s first name is Bunny, but she changed it to Sage
27. My mom’s name is Beverly Ruth Wilderoter. What an atrocious name
28. I come from a long line of Northern Ireland Protestants
29. I still have family relatives in Ireland
30. I am not a picky eater, but my brother is a ridiculously picky eater. And he’s 18.
31. the longest time I’ve been single in between relationships since 10th grade is a year and 5 months.
32. I broke my stint as a single girl in October
33. I’ve had 3 one-night stands that involve sex. None of them were in the U.S.
34. I’ve kissed a Dane, New Zealander, Italian and an Albanian.
35. I am curious about sex parties and group sex
36. I adore hard core hip-hop as well as Bach’s The Passion of St. John
37. I strongly consider myself a feminist, yet support musicians who make music that is derogatory towards women
38. When I was 10, I made my brother dress-up in my mother’s lingerie
39. when I’m stressed out, I clean and re-arrange my living space
40. I accidentally stabbed a piece of graphite pencil lead into my best friend’s knuckle when I was 12 years old
41. I cut my hair when a transition happens in my life
42. I love my armpit hair, but am skeptical about my leg hair
43. I think I’m going to be a wonderful mother
44. When I was in middle school, I had sexually torturous dreams that involved me and the boy band Hanson
45. I lived in Haarlem, Holland for 3 months in 10th grade as an exchange student. I knew absolutely no Dutch before getting on the plane.
46. I have traveled and/or lived in Holland, England, Italy, Costa Rica and Italy for a short amount of time.
47. I attended a Waldorf School all the way from K-12th grade.
48. I created a one-woman play for my senior high school project, made up of my own poetry and journal entries
49. I deeply believe in Christian teachings, but am very wary of labeling myself as Christian.
50. If I could do anything, I’d be a: professional dancer, artist, chef, owner of a bed & breakfast, actor, slam poet, singer/songwriter, producer, writer, rancher, organic farmer, sailor, marine biologist….
51. I love subversive art
52. I am an artist, and I hate pretentious artists and the museum elite.
53. The landscapes I connect the most deeply to are: the Texas Hill Country, Sardinia (Italy) and New Mexico (near Taos).
54. One of my middle school friend’s mother once told me and 3 other friends that she “smelled fish” when we were around. From that moment on, I became convinced that everyone could smell my “fishy” vaginal excretions.
55. If I teach, I want to work with middle schoolers. They’re feisty and vulnerable.
56. I’ve had moments when I can feel spiritual electricity pass in between myself and a loved one. Usually, my reaction is to start crying
57. I love acting, and am good at it, but gave up on it after freshman year, even after a professor offered to give me private coaching lessons.
58. I am a hands-on experiential learner. This created a lot of stress over the past 4 years at Whitman. I only like to temporarily live in academia
59. My music guilty pleasures include: Backstreet Boys, N*Sync, Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, 50 Cent, Usher and Lil’ John
60. I think it’s easier to play the outraged victim than to take the higher road and take personal responsibility
61. I sometimes wish my life was a musical. When I was little I would locate fields that I could sing in (The Sound of Music) or big rocks near the ocean to perch on (The Little Mermaid).
62. I pluck hairs out of my chin, bellybutton and nipples
63. I really love putting together letters and packages full of surprises and words that are completely appropriate to whom I’m sending them.
64. I think I had crushes on all my best girlfriends while I was growing up. That makes me really uncomfortable
65. I want to learn how to make a really nice cake
66. i love being generous in a non-money way and finding creative ways to do so.
67. driving down highway 1 on the way to San Francisco with windows open and my two best friends in the car was one of the best times of my life.
68. I’m planning to go on a cross-country road-trip with my girlfriend this summer. It might include a wedding, family-reunion, Mormon festival, organic farming, dishwashing, making glass beads and riding around in a red Toyota pick-up
69. I love the Texas Hill Country with a deep passion
70. I think Texas has some of the most incredible skyscapes of anywhere I’ve been
71. I love the way my body looks now more than I ever have before.
72. I like not looking in the mirror for days on end and forgetting what I look like
73. I love having excuses not to shower
74. I just quit smoking and am having issues with identifying myself as a “quitter.”
75. I love bringing people I love together by organizing dinner and dance parties
76. I just realized that I have a habit of becoming friends with people who are afraid of their own intelligence and I’m working towards transforming that habit
77. Confident and intelligent women intimidate and threaten me.
78. I make music mixes composed of songs that I know will make me cry. Joni Mitchell’s “Case of You” is always on them, as is the Dixie Chicks “Cowboy Take Me Away”
79. I want to get married by the ocean, or under flowering trees or in the midst of fiery autumn colors
80. I’m infuriated by the fact that the government will not allow myself and others to marry someone we love based on the anatomy that our partner was born with
81. I adore porches and all the activities that go along with them: tea-sipping, smoking cigarettes while bundled up in blankets in freezing conditions, watching construction across the street, cuddling, yelling things at people before they realize who you are, and falling asleep.
82. Am I masochistic? I can’t stand overcast weather on a regular basis and am considering moving to Portland this fall.
83. I love swimming in clear rivers and streams and oceans and imagining I’m a mermaid
84. i love playing dress-up. Especially when hats and awkward glasses are involved.
85. Jobs I’ve had: babysitter, petsitter, housesitter, holiday lights installer, dishwasher, barista, baker, food server, and camp counselor
86. my house has a basement room that is covered in green shag carpet
87. i value honest communication in my friends and lovers over most things, but I find it difficult to trust enough to give that back to them.
88. I assume that everyone is as judgmental towards me as I am towards myself
89. by traditional definitions I think I would be labeled bi-sexual, but I feel more comfortable identifying myself as queer.
90. I feel liberated by the possibilities of refusing to abide by traditional gender labels. Yet I am also scared that frequent discussion of this subject will lead me question everything that I know and trust about identity and selfhood. I don’t know if I’m ready to go down that road yet.
91. I deeply believe that the act of creating can be a deeply healing and transformative process
92. I despise the fact that I too often limit my opportunity for adventure and exploration by the amount of cash I possess
93. i squeal loudly when I see tiny plants that are just starting to grow, especially crocuses and ferns
94. I like to think of how things are interconnected in life, and get flustered when I’m asked to be linear and succinct in my description of human experience.
95. I want to believe in the inherent beauty of humanity. Sometimes I don’t, but sometimes I do.
96. one of the best advice someone ever gave me was “would you treat your dearest friend in the way you’re treating yourself right now?”
97. for a long time whenever I caught someone’s eye who was my own age, I thought “is that who I’m going to marry?” or “I wonder if that’s who’s going to be my best friend in 20 years.”
98. I am working on learning how to laugh at myself and my strange habits more.
99. The threat of mediocrity scares me more than failure.
100. I love making lists. Just like this one.